"Republic Service - Kabalikat ng Bayan sa Panahon ng Paghamon" is  Civil Service Commission's theme for their 108th anniversary.

     Our direction for new public management will hopefully address the government's urgent need for transformation, and for transformation to make sense, there must be  good opportunities to effect major change and strong will to make change happen by and among the employees.

     We all have to be  change masters --   able to take a stand against the status quo and confront reality, have commitment for hard work and self-sacrifice.  It may be idealistic but the truth is,  we from  the government sector  must be driven by satisfaction of building the government and seeing people develop.

     "Given a chance will you marry again?" my fellow asked during our coffee break.   I know I'm not a hot wife material; granting I'm one, just the mere thought of remarrying these days scares me.  For one, I am not the type of Sharon Cuneta who could give her KC a loving and supportive stepfather.

     Of course exchanging love and growing old with someone special is a happy and fulfilling experience.  However, one's happiness and fulfillment depends on what makes him complete.  This explains why some divorcee and widow remarry while others choose to remain single and happily dance with life's tune. 

     More than  Christian's (played by Will Smith)  love for his son, his intelligence and ambition, it was his ability to handle rejection that led him to success.  He was never cowed by failure.  He was true to his words for  his son "if you have a dream don't allow others to tell you can not do it; not even me son.  Go, work for your dream; Never give up".

     On several occassions he failed - scanner business, his marriage, convinced a possible client for a big time deal, trusted a friend whom he lend money and did not pay back when he needed most and more.  Despite the difficulties he pursued on what he believed "everything will be alright".  Nothing stopped him from working for his dream;  inferiority complex  was out of his system.  When he felt unappreciated despite his efforts during his 6-month internship without pay, he doubled his effort to cope with the demands - sell the remaining almost outdated scanner to earn for the needs of his son, studied hard for the qualifying exam and perform well in his job. 

     Christian, who seemed unprepared for the  interview proved that  how one dressed up does not guarantee how well he can be.

   

     While waiting for my change at Artwork's counter, I spot a Korean book at the manager's corner.  Out of curiousity I asked who's learning Korean language?  The cashier replied "gipa studyhan sa amoa Ma'am para makastorya mi sa amoang Korean customers".  Wow! What a very "customer-friendly" strategy.  Filipinos are indeed hospitable in the real sense of the word.

     Do I have to imagine that sooner malls and other business establishments will prefer job applicants who can speak Hanguk well?  Definitely absurd!

     I hope the personnel are to learn the very challenging language to serve well and not out of fear of business or opportunity loss.  Even if these personnel do not know anything about Korean language they can for sure sell the Filipino products they have.  Aside from affordable price, unique designs which remarkably identify Filipinos' creativity, the products are made of quality materials.

     It's not that I'm against their learning.  Hanguk is quite interesting.  I just do not see the logic.  Why do these ladies have to learn another foreign language when they speak good English?  The Korean customers have to learn to communicate with the sales personnel just as we will learn to communicate with them when we go to their place.  They  are in the Philippines where most people speak either our national language or real good English.

     If a line of a song be associated with how I feel these days,  it will be "I try to read, I try to work, I laugh with my friends but I can't stop to keep myself from thinking (oh no)".  There is "a hole inside my heart".

    The battle is still on and it gets tough.  Aside from struggle  against insomia, oftentimes,  I dream something about my daughter's dad.  When I am awake I am reminded of him even with little things.  And I am hurt.

   Last night, while enjoying Yanti's delicious chicken barbecue with Bing, he was in my mind.  It tasted the same with that of his favorite barbecue prepared by my father-in-law. 

  I got to wake up.  He is gone and all I can do  now  is remember the beautiful memories and the person that he was.

   

     My daughter has a light schedule this week.  Last night, she requested to watch "singing bee" but since it was a school day and I said it before that "No TV on school days" then my "NO" shall mean NO.  I know I have to be flexible but to please her as much as possible may promote self-centeredness.

     Adult life is full of frustration.  As such, my child needs to learn how to graciously accept "no" and make the best out of it.  Admittedly, as a parent,  to mean what I said often hurts me; but my child's training and development are more important.  She must be equipped to meet situations in life where no one is concerned with pleasing her.

     Just read an article that stated "recent studies conducted by HSBC showed that individuals are seeking wealth not just for wealth's sake, but to find the kind of life that enables to rear a family, and gives them freedom to pursue their interests and hobbies amid fast-paced living".

     Thanks to this latest studies.  I can for the meantime have an excuse.  I can't  afford yet  to buy a slice of lot and build our house anywhere in my favorite and memorable places - Bajada or Obrero. Isn't it another big dream?

     Honestly, living in a small rented room is incredibly difficult.  As sort of defense, I often describe our place "nara tanan", "naara kusina, naara sala, naara tulganan" - refering to a living space which is both our living room and our bedroom.  The  happy  thing about it  is, because we have less space, we can accumulate less belongings.  It will not become obvious that we can not afford it (he! he! he!).    Getting into the plus factor, our place now is a stone's throw away from the office, my daughter's school as well as the Kumon center she is enrolled, her pediatricians' clinics, my memorable eating place - McDo Bajada, and the window shopping destinations.  Aside from the instant elder brothers and sisters (the college students and our apartelle neighbors) for my daughter, we are saved from the stress of communicating for more than one hour (from my original place) and from the heavy traffic.  The big  thing however is ,   we are bound to get along with our moody landlady.

     I was preoccupied budgeting mentally when the trisikad driver started a discussion on "how does a man become rich?"  He initiated by complaining that with the price of all commodities soaring high, the rich becomes richer and we, the poor gets poorer.

     At what point then could I share my father's famous line "it's not how much we earn, but how much we save".  Today's competitive world is a rat race which we can only get out according to Kiyosaki by having our own business. 

     Of course we want to address our financial struggle which as Kiyosaki writes "is often directly the result of people working all their life for someone else".   We want to be like the rich who work and aim to master money rather than being motivated by fear of running out of money but the intricacies are never easy.  Sometimes, I want to believe there are really those who are destined to be rich and those who are only meant to remain average.  Anyway, being rich is least important than being a person.