If a line of a song be associated with how I feel these days,  it will be "I try to read, I try to work, I laugh with my friends but I can't stop to keep myself from thinking (oh no)".  There is "a hole inside my heart".

    The battle is still on and it gets tough.  Aside from struggle  against insomia, oftentimes,  I dream something about my daughter's dad.  When I am awake I am reminded of him even with little things.  And I am hurt.

   Last night, while enjoying Yanti's delicious chicken barbecue with Bing, he was in my mind.  It tasted the same with that of his favorite barbecue prepared by my father-in-law. 

  I got to wake up.  He is gone and all I can do  now  is remember the beautiful memories and the person that he was.